A Real Life Fairytale

The only real thing separating us from real life and fairytales is our experience. Our brain and body tell us it’s real because we experienced it physically and emotionally. We look back and have memories of smells, emotions, and the way it felt in our body. While some things blur, we can mostly register that THIS happened, THIS was real. 

I never met my grandfather. He died 3 years before I was born. While my brain can register YES, he was real, as I wouldn’t be sitting here typing if he wasn’t, I have no memories. I never knew the sound of his voice, the feeling of his hugs, the emotions surrounding his soft yet funny personality. He is my blur between fantasy and reality. 

I grew up hearing stories of their courtship, their marriage filled with laughter and passion. His memory kept alive from his 3 children, each with their own special relationship with their father. I was able to hear multiple perspectives to create a well rounded image, one not void of hard times but made up mostly of magic. Even his death felt like a story you would only hear about in fairytales, not necessarily happy ones, but ones that definitely had no basis in reality. 

As a child that loved living in a fantasy world and gauged most of my life decisions off of which was most likely to get me closest to my own fairytale; I lived for stories of my grandfather. I wanted that type of love, the love that starts with seeing each other across the room and ends with a family full of love, laughter and memories. While I would give anything to have met him, to have him know my son the way Titi does, but I will take the next best thing. I will take these stories, these moments, and if there had to be a lead in my bedtime fairytales, I’ll take him. 

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August 20th

The very first time I saw him was a Sunday afternoon. All the young people would spend every afternoon at the plaza walking and listening to music. It was almost like a dance in itself. The boys would walk one way while the girls would walk the other. Only if you had a boyfriend could you walk together. I remember walking with my friends and there he was, the most gorgeous young man I have ever seen. I looked at my friend and ask “WHO is That”. “Oh that is Henry Mendez”, she replied. I told her at that very moment, “I am going to marry that man some day.” She laughed at me, as it was laughable, I still had a lot of growing up to do, but I just knew.

The year is 1949, a very important year for me as a lot of my life was shaped that year. It was the 23rd of June, the coldest night of the year because we were in the southern hemisphere. We would have these huge bonfires and the whole neighborhood would get together. We would open the windows of my house and put music on. It was wonderful, just a bunch of young people dancing and drinking wine around the fire. I look up and there he is, the most handsome man, Henry Mendez, talking to my dad. I found out later that our fathers had gone to school together. After talking with my father, he came over and asked me to dance. We shared one dance together and then he spent the rest of the night showing off. I remember him doing backflips over the fire and everyone would clap and cheer. That was the first time he really got introduced to my family. 

It was August 20th 1949, my boyfriend was Chuchi but nothing was going on and it was a Saturday. I decided I wanted nothing to do with Chuchi anymore. There were two parties that day, one was a party at a friend's house up the hill and it was a bon voyage party for our other friend Oscar Lara who happened to be coming to the United States to study at the University of Illinois. It was an afternoon party, and that evening was a more formal party for my friend who was being crowned queen for one of the schools. So I sat down with Chuchi and I said I think we should just be friends and he was surprised but he said okay. I went home for lunch and to get ready with my friend. We were supposed to go to piano lessons but we decided to skip so we were sitting on a windowsill talking and here came Henry Mendez walking down the street. He asked what we were doing and we told him we skipped piano lessons and were heading to Oscar’s party soon. Everyone knew everyone else so he said “well, if you are going to the party would you like me to come and pick you up?” Oh you should have seen my friend’s face! Neither of us expected that but of course I said “yes, that sounds good.” So I went home to change again, and at 3:00 he came by my house and we walked to the party together. Everyone was dancing and having a great time. So many people were there to say bye to Oscar, he was such a great friend. After saying our goodbyes, Henry walked me home. I let him know I was going to the party that evening and had to change, again, and get ready. He said he had too much going on and was unable to make it, so we politely said goodbye and that was it. 

That evening my cousin came to pick me up and I was all dressed up. I will never forget my mom had made this beautiful taffeta skirt with a lot of petticoats under it with a white blouse and a little red tie on it. I must say, I just looked so cute. So we went to this big party at a ballroom where everyone was dancing. I never sat down, I was dancing so much. One boy asked if I could be his boyfriend. I told him I was sorry but I already had a boyfriend. I knew Henry said he could not make it but I just had this feeling. I looked over at the door and there he was. We made eye contact, he walked directly to me and we danced for the rest of the night. That night he asked if I would be his girlfriend, and that was the beginning. It all started on August the 20th, 1949.