Finding Ourselves in Community
My first thought reading this was; ‘Wow, look how easy it was for her to have an idea, figure out a plan and execute it! Why can’t I do that!?’ As someone who has dozens of ideas swimming around daily, the actual ‘action’ part is one I have yet to master. How do I start? What do I need? Do I have time? Will this actually make a difference? How will this be received? It usually never gets further than the question gauntlet of self doubt.
Soon after, I realized what a very individualized thought that was. Why can’t I do that? Would people like MY idea? What will they think of ME? Not that there's anything wrong with that, as we are a very individualized culture, but I realized that THAT was the difference. This was not about one's own idea at all, this was about community. Not executing an idea or a plan, but fulfilling a need.
In an original “draft”, I started to paint the idea of reaching the ability to take action in regards to other’s needs as being the “end goal” or some sort of “outcome”. In order to look outside of ourselves, our immediate family and the present moment; we need to be in a position beyond solely meeting our own survival needs. A state of safety. It is nearly impossible to take in other’s experiences when we ourselves are just trying to survive. Especially in a day and age when everything feels so divided. What feels safe to one person seems to feel like the threat itself to another. Looking outside of ourselves seems to not only be a privilege we can’t all afford but an actual risk all together.
Once again, I am looking through the lens of someone who grew up in a very individualistic culture and generation. Also being someone whose own identity I never searched to also see in others around me…I overlooked a very important piece; Identity Based Community. Very simply put this is a community that is built based on sharing a common identity such as race, culture, sexual orientation, ethnicity or ability. When you aren’t in an environment where you can easily find others who reflect what you feel are pieces of your core identity; I could only imagine that once again the call for community is not a want but a need. A need for safety, community and survival.
While this story may have grown out of many things; one perhaps being necessity, the level to which it grew reflects everything that is my grandmother. To take a need, turn it into a WANT and then turn it into a privilege and an absolute joy.
_______________________________________________________________________
Okay, I remember I left off on our trip back to Bolivia for the first time since leaving. It was a wonderful trip for all of us but we knew that we wanted to continue to live in the United States. The political atmosphere had not changed in Bolivia and it still wasn’t where I wanted to raise my family if I had a choice.
So, we went back to Champaign-Urbana, to our little house, and we bought a little car and we got back into our routine. I stayed home with the kids and Henry went to work. Before you know it they were in school and it was time for me to let them go and grow, which is hard but it is how it is supposed to be. At that time I had already made some friends who were Latin American or married or engaged to a Latin American and we would get together every once in a while. There was my friend Annie and also my friend Oscar. He had been the one that told us to come to Champaign Urbana. He was dating a beautiful girl from Greece named Juanita. Juanita, Annie and I would get together for coffee.
One day we said “Hey, why don’t we put an ad in the paper and try to start a group with other Latin American women to exchange ideas and build more of a community. So we placed an ad that said “Latin American women or those married to Latin Americans who would like to get together please call this number”. Would you believe it, 40 women called! I had a little house, as did Annie and Juanita had an apartment but we knew we wanted to meet with all of these women. So I went to the Newman Foundation that was part of the Catholic Church and I knew the priests there, so I asked if they had a space where we could meet once a month for this group. They were more than happy to help. They had this house next to the Newman Foundation and we had meetings there.
Before you know it this group became quite an interesting and wonderful thing. We had women from Chile, Argentina, Peru, Brazil and others who were married to Latin American men. They elected me to be President of our group, so I began to plan lots of activities but one of the main things we would do was set up a sort of welcome program for those arriving from other Latin American Countries. Our support and friend, Mrs. Sharp was in charge of the foreign students program at the U of I, as well my friend Carol. They would let me know when a new student or family were to arrive. So we set up a program where we would accompany them on their doctor visits when they first got here to help support and translate if needed. We also collected coats for them as well. One of the things I remember when first moving here was not realizing how cold the winters can be here. Coming from South America we really did not have winters nearly this cold. So we would see if we could lend them coats, and take them shopping and lend them pots and pans and any other essentials we could think of. Carmen was still too little for school at this point so she would come with me to anything I needed to go to including this group as well as an exercise group I joined. It was just a time for me to really get more acquainted with life in this country and to meet more friends and connections. We were really trying to make Champaign Urbana feel more like home.
