What Happens on a Honeymoon…
As I listen and then rewrite this piece two things continue to come to mind. 1. That I was able to spend time in Copacabana myself and be a little part of this history and 2. The part of women’s history that I can’t ignore.
I will touch slightly on the first point that lives less in my head and more in my heart. The photo used for the cover of this blog post was taken by my dad when we were able to go as a family to Copacabana in 2011. We went with my Titi, my parents, Titi’s sisters (my beloved aunts) and some of their kids (my amazing cousins). Like most things in my life, I wish I had been a bit more present for that experience, especially as I learned more about the piece of history I was becoming a part of. While hindsight may usually be right, it doesn’t mean the present is wrong. I experienced it exactly as I could in that moment and I am extremely grateful to have that experience with my family.
The second point lives hardcore in my head but I don’t know how to put it into words. I like to speak on certain topics having done a little research and being able to offer statistics, dates and examples. Facts that I can continue to circle back to, that keep me on track and provide a path. Without it I feel a little lost, even if the topic is something I feel passionate about.
I tried to research the history of sexual education for women but there are A LOT of factors that come into play; religion, education, socio-economic class, culture and region, etc. I even went as far as finding a research article that looked specifically at family transitions in Latin America throughout the 1950’s and the 1960’s. They highlighted statistics of 13 different countries including Bolivia which I found extremely intriguing. Yet, something just didn’t feel ‘right’.
I realized that I was caught up on a very real and serious conversation about sexual education, empowerment and equality of women throughout history. Listening to my grandmother’s retelling of her own curiosities and unanswered questions, I couldn’t help but feel a second hand sense of frustration, fear and sadness. And while it’s important to have a conversation around these topics, especially as we explore our history and fight for our future, it wasn’t the point of her story. I don’t even think it was anywhere near her takeaway either. To her it just was, and thankfully it was beautiful.
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The party was still going on, people were eating, drinking and dancing but it was time for us to leave on our honeymoon. We were going to go to Copacabana which is a beautiful resort and sanctuary by Lake Titicaca; the highest navigable lake in the world. It is quite beautiful. So we went to change while the party was going on and we took a truck that dropped us off at CopaCabana. We got there late at night. Keep in mind this was my honeymoon night.
I knew about the mechanics of a woman’s body and I knew more or less what would probably happen but I didn’t have anyone to ask, we didn’t talk about that sort of thing. When I was getting dressed for my wedding both of my grandmothers came to offer advice before I got married which consisted of a blessing from one and a simple “don’t ever say no to your husband” from the other, and that was it. I wanted to ask my mom but my mom never even used the word “sex”, so there I was with no idea what was supposed to happen.
Thank God for a gentle, wonderful and caring man. I think he thought I probably knew SOMETHING but soon found out I knew nothing at all. He said “well maybe we should leave this until tomorrow” and I said “oh no no no, we are doing this, this is my wedding night it has to happen tonight.” I probably just wanted to get it over with and not have to wonder and worry about it for one more day. I remember him laughing at that and then the rest of the night went as a honeymoon is supposed to go. The rest of the trip went that way as well, we didn’t leave the room very much.
We did go out for lunches, dinners, took a boat ride and went to visit the sanctuary. After a couple of days we were supposed to go back to LaPaz for Christmas Eve. We looked and there were absolutely no buses leaving then so we had no idea how we were going to go back. There was a big truck that was going to take people in the back and we thought ‘well that doesn’t look so bad’ so we hopped in the back. We had our big suitcases, carefully laid them down and then sat on top of them. Before you know it more and more people kept getting on and we were going up and up and up because people kept putting their luggage under us. We were in the back of this truck, with tons of people, their luggage and just trying to sit and balance all the way up on this pile of stuff. The only thing missing was the chickens. There were no chickens, but there were some fish.
When we arrived home my mom seemed surprised and asked “how did you get here?”, and Henry told her that we took a truck. You should have seen her face; ‘you took my daughter all the way here in the back of a truck?’ So that was just something funny that ended a wonderful honeymoon. We stayed in LaPaz for Christmas and then went to Cochabamba for New Years Eve, but that’s it for now.
